Wednesday, December 28, 2011
All that I didn't accomplish in 2011
Seems like every goal I set for myself in 2011 fell short. I wanted to blog more (obviously didn't make that one), wanted to lose 50 lbs (nope), tried to keep up with my ORT jar (I think I participated for the first 3 months, and then gave up), have several WIP's that I didn't even work on (hence, the reason for the empty ORT Jar). My book goal was 144 books, which I surpassed in 2010 with no problems, but this year came up short. I think I am at about 130 books. I know-more than the average reader, but still, didn't make the goal.
I am trying to decide why I put all this pressure on myself to meet these goals. I have never been competitive in anything, so maybe these goals are a way to compete with others. But I am realizing that I don't like the pressure of trying to best others, and am uncomfortable when I succeed and people praise me. It's that whole low self-esteem thing.
This last year has been a doozy. My husband has worked at 3 jobs. My daughter graduated high school and started taking classes at the local community college. My health has nose-dived.
In fact-the day after Thanksgiving, I was in the ER for chest pains. I thought I was having a heart attack. Ended up not being one, but not sure what the pain was coming from. Then, I got poisoned by gluten at Round Table Pizza-their blue cheese salad dressing has gluten in it! I was sick for over a week, and even now I am not fully 100%. I have become very sensitive to any gluten, even if it is just cross contamination, and think I might have more food allergies/sensitivity.
I feel like I have spent the last year at work, or in bed. I work a full time job, and when I come home, I just want to lay down. My primary care doctor would like me to take some time off (short time disability), but I haven't decided whether I want to do that yet. I just feel angry!
I have tried to set some goals for 2012. I signed up for the 15 new projects for crazy January. I think I am going to have back out of that one. I don't have the drive or the money to kit up 15 new things, especially if I don't have the time to even work on them. I would like to try the WIP Apocalypse, but I know I won't do it. I need to learn to meditate-sounds stupid, but I really think it will help with my health and my stress level.
So, I think the logical thing to do, is try and push for losing some weight-it probably won't be 50 pounds, but even if it is 20, it will make me healthier. And I know I can do the 100 book challenge, just because I read a lot. As far as the stitching goes-work on what I love, and stop worrying about all the charts and WIP's I have that I am not working on. It's okay to not stitch something, if you don't love it anymore. And it's okay to buy a new chart here and there because you do love it. Just like it's okay to stop reading a book after the first 50 pages, because you hate it.
So there you go-goals for 2012. Lose a pound or 2, stitch a few things that I enjoy, read the books I enjoy, and learn some meditation and maybe even some yoga!
Okay-that's enough, or I will stress out!
Here is a picture of my 2 kids and my sister's 2. My kids are the freakishly short ones, and her's are the freakishly tall ones. And I love them all!